How Do We Pursue Human Flourishing in Grief?
A Conversation with Pastor Josh Scott of GracePointe Church in Nashville, TN.
Coming up on Sunday, premium subscribers to the Restorative Grief podcast will gain access to my exclusive interview with Pastor Josh Scott of GracePointe Church. Below you can hear an excerpt of our conversation but for the moment, I wanted to simply reflect on how I felt before, during, and after our conversation and the context of grief.
Josh probably wouldn’t describe himself as a person in the world of grief support, but he did mention that he knows his church is often the last stop for Christians or people in pursuit of understanding the Christian faith before they leave the church altogether.
Grief work, as you know, can cause a secondary loss of faith when we are wrestling with the nature of loss. That’s exactly why I wanted to bring Josh onto the show in the first place. He will be the first person to say that he is not a counselor, so grief is not his wheelhouse. But his approach to the bible provides a chance to explore new ways of understanding how the bible could be applicable as we search for new paths forward in our grief journey.
During the conversation, I kept myself muted because I could not stop offering the proverbial, “AMEN” to his thoughts. My own grief journey only highlighted the so-called "deconstruction” process of my faith. I’ve always held certain beliefs and tenets of Christianity lightly not out of skepticism, necessarily, but out of the desire to remain humble and open to change should new evidence or understanding present itself.
But when I started truly and actively grieving both the death of my mom, the ongoing trauma of the pandemic, my own traumatic/abusive experience, and the anxiety within, my faith practice took a bat to the face.
The global church had conflicting answers, conclusions, and directions that left me spinning in circles. Each one pointed me toward some divine purpose, outcome, or reason for the loss, all highlighting the very thing I didn’t want to believe: that God has a plan for me, and it included my mother dying at too young an age from cancer.
But the conversation with Josh resurfaced the truth sitting in the back of my mind, and one that I’ve shared time and again with my clients: Maybe there is no reason. Maybe there is no purpose. Just because we have a bible - a library of stories - doesn’t mean we have a black and white rule book to live by.
That uncomfortable truth brought SO much freedom to my own process as I learned to grieve well on my own behalf. The bible is a collection of stories, allowing me to read and understand only so far as my own lens/filter can allow.
As grievers, we often experience the church unintentionally bypassing our loss and pain through spiritual behaviors and explanations.
The way Josh presented the context of grief in the bible - both through his own story and the way he approaches his work as a pastor - is one that invites human flourishing as the end goal.
If what we do, say, and believe does not lead to the flourishing of all humans, then how can I believe that it is the heart of God when I claim that God is love?
This question, and so many others, found deep compassion and expression of grace from my friend Josh. I appreciated this conversation so much because before knowing much about one another, we agreed to this interview and in the process, discovered another human in each other intent on creating healthy, psychologically safe places for people in pain to fall apart.
After hearing about my response to this conversation, I hope you’re inspired to subscribe to the podcast as a premium member. As promised, here’s a little snippet of our chat about the shame cycle that prevents healing. Subscribe to the show at https://anchor.fm/mandy-capehart/subscribe.